WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT THAT?
In 1997 I read Clarissa Pinkola Estes' most eloquent treatise 'women who run with the wolves', and the mystic feminist in me was born. In 1999 I read 'the whole woman' by Germaine Greer, and was stunned by her clarity of perspective on 'the lifestyle feminists'. She had me by paragraph 1 of her introduction.
In 2005 I was inspired and deeply moved by the wonderful work of the late Dame Anita Roddick and her book 'Take it Personally', which plunged me into a state of utter desolation about the state of the world, the full-scaled swindle of the masses into becoming a globalised, human, consumer livestock for the gutless, simpering, brutal New World. In 2005 I travelled to U.K., Wales and Ireland with a few copies of my own indignant book, Gaia's Mouth. I'd dreamed of finding a publisher, an agent, a haven for indignant books...but that was not to be. It was, however all part of a catalyst for something drastic to happen in me. I came home and watched Margaret Cho performing her gorgeous show on SBS late one night and I began to plot.... I went to see Henry Rollins' spoken word show at the Tiv' and I began to sense exactly what I needed to do.
I feverishly wrote this comic satire about the West Antarctic ice sheet breaking off, about the systematic demolition of the planet, the continuing and escalating conditions of world poverty, hunger, desperation and degradation for most of the world's population, whilst my egocentrically well-heeled and hedonistic society of dumb white bastards goes around wondering what to purchase on credit today to fill the void of our unactualised pudgy selves...
I asked myself how I could change. What could I do, maybe I could make 'em laugh, but somehow plant seeds of ideas, positive notions about action and change. I mean, if I can get out there and stand up as a middle-aged frump making a vastly humiliating spectacle of myself, well... it touched people! Belinda Berrington came on-board as director (thank heavens..) and Steve and I composed some music for the show and CD. The spin-offs have been worthwhile, and I have learned a great deal about courage.
All it took was for me to wonder 'How can I live like this for another day, aimlessly out there, shopping for more sweat-shop manufactured, CO2-producing, vanity merchandise and not notice that the world is skidding to a final, terrifyingly tragic end?' Depressing? You better believe it.
Can we change all of that now?
Excerpts from the script and show
THE CAST
Motivational Speaker – The Hon. Amanda-Tori D. Tension Causing a Path of Power
Psycho Therapist – Dr Elisabeth Ross-River Suitable Therapies for Transformation
Greens Rep – Jaffa St Bernhard - Native Tree Reforester The Serious content…
Palatial Facials Beautician – Debrina Dragg My Full Body Extreme Makeover
Yogini – Jaffa St Bernhard How Come Women Are Driving Tanks for Cars?
Crash Victim – Nurelle Grabbes I Want A New Mounted Combat System
Unicornicopia Sales Rep – Cosmichaella I'm Recently remarried…
Spray and Wife CEO – Sarah Tonan Wife Coach and Scum Cleaner
The Rev. Hector Slimzoogan Buck-toothed Christian Cowboy
...Dr Elisabeth Ross-River
The first goal I set for myself in becoming a highly effective motivator was to get some practical skills that would really anchor my credibility for people, so, I’ve been taking a fantastic correspondence course in Sociopathy. I’ve only got a couple of units left to finish and then I’ll be a fully qualified Psychopath.I’m opening a CCC (you know that stands for Compulsory Community Clinic) later in the year and I’ll be offering some fanatical weekend courses in social resources such as the 'Living with Pronoia Workshop', … I had a touch of Pronoia recently, it’s an utterly debilitating condition where I walked around believing people actually liked me.
I’m also planning some support groups for the people with Ol’rosis, which is quite similar to Neurosis but all the anxiety is fixated on ageing. Ol’rosis mostly affects men, and it seems to come about just when they hit mentalpause, y’know, men’s version of the change of life. Some of them misunderstand that and think mentalpause means a change of wife. I know that many of the guys benefit from talking about their dwindling sexual performance after they've hit their twenties, and I know they all need a safe environment to consider their prostate glands, a place where they can share just how disturbing it’s been for them go for a checkup, and, many of the fellows describe the experience as an emotionally scarring source of life-altering personal trauma…having that rubber-clad digit inserted into them.
So I’ve also designed a weekly discussion program called the D.R.O.O.P.I., and that stands for “Dads Really Opening On Prostate Issues”. So if anyone’d like to sign up to secure one of these popular but limited spaces, there’ll be some handouts at the end. I have to admit that I’ve been so hormonally ol’rotic myself lately that I recently went for my own prostate checkup. I booked in to see my fabulous female gynacologist Dr K.C. Mookerjee, and she comes out and says “What seems to be the problem?" And I said well, I think it’s my prostate.
She looked a little surprised and she said “OK do one thing, take off that suit and tie and strip down to your boxer shorts, I’ll be back in a minute...after about ten minutes of silence, I lift up my head and say “Doctor what can you see?”
“...well, I see a tall, dark, handsome stranger, and some money is coming to you….”
In the end I just got her to prescribe me with that new women’s pill, y’know the one everyone’s talking about it. It’s called Buyagra and I must admit I have so much more stamina for the shopping now....
watch some excerpts from the show... & meet some very funny friends o' mine
